Delve Into Lunacy

Like pretty much everyone I get boatloads of spam on a daily basis. Occasionally I’ll get some with really phenomenal subject lines so I decided I’d start writing some of them down prior to deletion. Here are some of my recent favorites:

• Pound her womb with your mast! (I love when they combine violence, sailing references and sexual inuendo all in six words.)
• Be the Pied Piper of chicks (Awesome! I’ve always wanted to rid towns of baby chickens.)
• Funny Naked Girls (Because girls that are just funny or naked isn’t enough.)
• Do you want something really big inside your trousers? (This is how they get you. You assume they mean penis due to the lack of specifics but then they put some mutant ferret in your pants.)
• Splendid Narcotic Joy (Much better than the Awful Narcotic Joy I ordered last week.)
• Super size your organ with herba1 (People still own organs? I know a few people with pianos but none with organs anymore.)
• Erase all your bad memories (Do they replace them or just erase them? If just erase then that would mean I’d forget like 99% of my life.)
• Being small is a crime (Understandable. Midgets must be stopped!)
• Redundant problems will fly away together with extra weight! (What?)
• Add those inches to your sausage (Finally no more sausages that are too small for the bun.)
• Waste no further time on this (Done)
• You look really stupid (Well fuck you too.)
• Thorough, complete, utter penetration now possible (That sounds devastating! Sign me up!)