Delve Into Lunacy

There is a site called ChaCha.com that is essentially a search engine but with humans helping to get the most relevant search results instead of just relying on a behind the scenes algorithm to do it. Currently the majority of their traffic is from people submitting SMS text messages from cell phones and then getting an answer back in a text message.

Back in the day however, it was just desktop browser based and when you submitted a search it would then take you to a chat window where it would assign you a guide and the two of you could talk while they were searching for an answer. So when we first found the site we were asking random stupid questions and keeping copies of the chat results. It’s probably things like this that caused them to remove the chatting feature as an option.

These are sorted from least to most entertaining. Enjoy!

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Question: How to perform a California steamroller?

Status: Looking for a guide …
Status: Connected to guide: Cherryl L
Cherryl L: Welcome to ChaCha!
Cherryl L: Hi one moment please while I search that for you.
You: thank you
You: how you doing today?
Cherryl L: Im fine thank you here is one result for you to look over while I look for more
You: nope…that’s real estate related
Cherryl L: Can you give me some more information for your search?
Cherryl L: Im not finding anything for you in a timely fashion one moment I will transfer you.
You: okay
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide …
Status: Guide not located.

Result: Essentially I was hung up on.

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Question: Amount of pressure required to crush the human skull.

Status: Looking for a guide …
Status: Connected to guide: StaceyC
StaceyC: Welcome to ChaCha!
StaceyC: Hello
You: heya stacey
You: how’s it going?
StaceyC: Please be more specific as to what you’re looking for on this topic.
You: we’re debating how much force it requires to basically break the skull
You: not sure that helps much. wasn’t real sure what to search on
StaceyC: Let me see what I can find.
You: cool
StaceyC: Thanks for being patient! Rest assured I’m finding the most relevant results for your search.
You: no problem
You: thanks for looking
You: the guide search on Cha-Cha underground not work?
StaceyC: I don’t know - Haven’t been on today.
You: k. we were trying to find a guide from a couple weeks back that we really liked named JosephV
You: doesn’t return any results so I tried your name and that returns no results as well
StaceyC: Sorry, don’t know him.
You: oh well.
You: how’s the search going?
StaceyC: I’m having a little trouble.
You: doh
StaceyC: Let me see if I can transfer you to another guide who might have more experience in this area.
Transfer: You are being transfered to another guide who can help you search even better!
Looking for guide …
Status: Connected to guide: KENDRAB
You: heya kendra. how’s it going?
KENDRAB: Welcome to ChaCha!
KENDRAB: good how about you
You: i’m well thanks
You: did stacey let you know what we were trying to find?
KENDRAB: what can I search for you today
You: we’re trying to resolve a debate on how much pressure is required to crush a human skull
You: not real sure what to search on for that though
KENDRAB: sure
KENDRAB: Welcome to ChaCha! Please wait a moment while I search for your results.
You: thanks
You: i’m guessing the pressure varies based on the thickness of the skull, but anything generic will work
KENDRAB: Thanks for being patient! Rest assured I’m finding the most relevant results for your search.
You: no problem
You: how’s the search going?
KENDRAB: found your answer
You: cool
You: what’s the answer?
KENDRAB: 1 second
KENDRAB: 1400lbs to break a human skull
You: sweet
You: more than i would have guessed
KENDRAB: 2000psi to crush it
You: cool. thanks for finding that.
KENDRAB: did you get the site
KENDRAB: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: nah…that will do it
KENDRAB: Is this your first time using cha cha
You: nah
KENDRAB: oh ok have a nice day
You: do i get something free if it is?
KENDRAB: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

Result: First guide was zero help but the second one found exactly what was needed.

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Question: How to become a Pastafarian?

Status: Looking for a guide …
Status: Connected to guide: HeatherS
HeatherS: Welcome to ChaCha!
HeatherS: Hi there. I will be helping with your search.
You: hi there heather. how is your day going so far?
HeatherS: How to become what?
HeatherS: I am good and you?
You: a pastafarian
You: it’s a follower of the flying spaghetti monster
You: i’m doing well thanks
HeatherS: Ok are you for real?
You: yeah
You: why?
HeatherS: What does a flying spaghetti monster do?
You: it’s a parody god
HeatherS: Let see what we find!
HeatherS: Thanks for coming to ChaCha! Give me a moment while I do all your searching for you!
You: cool deal
You: where you guys based out of?
HeatherS: Our homes
You: sounds like a fun job
HeatherS: Yes it is fun
You: well, that site is related to the correct thing. supposedly there is a membership form somewhere though
HeatherS: ok let me keep searching
You: k
You: do you get to set your own hours at all?
You: cool…forgot i needed to buy that book at some point. hehe
HeatherS: ok still searching
You: k
HeatherS: is the last site the one you need?
You: no…but it was a good find
HeatherS: I appreciate your patience while I find exactly what you need.
You: no problem. thanks for helping out
HeatherS: Think I found it
You: cool
HeatherS: fsmogame.com
You: trying to pull that up now
You: how do you become a guide btw?
HeatherS: ok let me know
You: hmmm…it’s saying it can’t connect to that site
HeatherS: what is btw?
You: btw= by the way
HeatherS: it would not open for me either, but said membership info there/
You: interesting
HeatherS: you get invited by other guides
You: ahhh…cool deal
You: guides get paid?
HeatherS: Do you want me to keep searching?
HeatherS: Yes we do
You: sure
You: that’s cool
HeatherS: how about this site?
You: sweet…that had a link to the site with the membership info
You: it’s venganza.org
You: thank you.
HeatherS: Are these results sufficient?
You: yup
HeatherS: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: nah…think that should do it for now
HeatherS: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!
HeatherS: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

Result: In a forum they had me go to the first post which had a link to the correct web site. Took about 6 links before she got it and still only in a round about fashion.

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Question: How to clean a dog’s anal glands?

Status: Looking for a guide …
Status: Connected to guide: PatriciaR
PatriciaR: Welcome to ChaCha!
PatriciaR: How may I help you?
You: hi there patricia. how are you doing today?
PatriciaR: I am fine, and you?
You: i’m well thanks
PatriciaR: Welcome.
PatriciaR: How can I help you on your search?
You: i just got a little poodle-yorkie mix and my neighbor said i need to make sure to clean out his anal glands on a regular basis
You: not sure how to do that though
You: or even what to try searching for
PatriciaR: Well this is an awkward search.
PatriciaR: one moment please.
You: sorry…wasn’t sure where else to turn
PatriciaR: True.
PatriciaR: Well my browsers are messed up.
PatriciaR: But..
You: didn’t realize therre was this much i didn’t know about owning a dog
PatriciaR: You may go to all the web and type in how to clean a dogs anal glands.
PatriciaR: Well honestly..
PatriciaR: They don’t NEED to be cleaned.
PatriciaR: I think they were pulling your leg.
You: oh they don’t?
You: hmmm
PatriciaR: I’ve owned alot of dogs and I’e never had to.
You: my neighbor is kind of an ass…so that is possible
PatriciaR: Their just like us.
PatriciaR: Oh i’m sorry..
PatriciaR: I wouldn’t listen to the neighbor.
You: not your fault
PatriciaR: ;p
You: okay…i’ll ignore him.
You: thanks
PatriciaR: Your welcome. Have a nice day!
PatriciaR: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.

Result: No search results needed.

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Question: Don’t recall, but it doesn’t really matter with this guide.

Status: Looking for a guide …
Status: Guide not located.
Status: Looking for a guide …
Status: Connected to guide: JosephV
JosephV: Welcome to ChaCha!
JosephV: Suck it down, bitch.
You: LMAO
JosephV: This is John f’in Romero.
You: how it is john?
JosephV: What the f’ck do you want?
JosephV: I’m fine. I’m fine.
JosephV: Daikatana is hot sh’t.
You: ohhhh snap!
JosephV: Say what?
JosephV: Stop talking moonman language, bitch.
JosephV: Talk English, or John Romero will get p’ssed.
JosephV: I speak in the third-person too, so shut up.
JosephV: What do you want me to search for, my bitch?
JosephV: What the f’ck?
You: thats what im saying
JosephV: What do you want me to f’in do?
JosephV: Do I look like a f’in Supreme Court justice?
JosephV: I am guide, bitch.
JosephV: What the f’ck? John Romero isn’t asian bitch.
You: what? hold on a sec
You: thank you honerable Josheph for your impressions that have entertained me and brought me great honor
You: rememebr that
You: do you have stairs in your house?
JosephV: I once married an asian though, but that doesn’t make me an asian, bitch.
You: do you have stairs in your house?
JosephV: Of course I do.
JosephV: I’m John f’in Romero.
You: LMAO score!
JosephV: I’m the dood who made Doom and Daikatana.
You: somethingawful 4 life
JosephV: Are you going to be my search bitch or what?
JosephV: Bitch, stop talking about cryptic sh’t and answer me.
You: i think we both know you had me at “Are”
JosephV: What the f’ck?
JosephV: Are you from f’ckin Mars, dood?
You: JosephV I promise to sing your legend all across the mango boat!
JosephV: I don’t want you to sing, bitch.
JosephV: I want you to search.
You: can you search for another way for me spread your legend w/o singing, like interprative dance or something?
JosephV: If you want to spread my legend, buy a f’ckin copy of Daikatana.
JosephV: John Romero out.
JosephV: Thank you for using ChaCha!
Status: Session ended.

Result: BEST GUIDE EVER!

Lately I’ve really felt like writing something but I have complete writer’s block in terms of coming up with topics to write about. I won’t write about work or family and since I have no life this leaves me with little inspiration.

So I am calling on the four people that have ever spent more than 3 seconds reading this blog and asking for topic ideas. To submit an idea just leave a comment on this post. Throw out whatever you want, be it a question or just a general topic, and I’ll give it a go.

Like pretty much everyone I get boatloads of spam on a daily basis. Occasionally I’ll get some with really phenomenal subject lines so I decided I’d start writing some of them down prior to deletion. Here are some of my recent favorites:

• Pound her womb with your mast! (I love when they combine violence, sailing references and sexual inuendo all in six words.)
• Be the Pied Piper of chicks (Awesome! I’ve always wanted to rid towns of baby chickens.)
• Funny Naked Girls (Because girls that are just funny or naked isn’t enough.)
• Do you want something really big inside your trousers? (This is how they get you. You assume they mean penis due to the lack of specifics but then they put some mutant ferret in your pants.)
• Splendid Narcotic Joy (Much better than the Awful Narcotic Joy I ordered last week.)
• Super size your organ with herba1 (People still own organs? I know a few people with pianos but none with organs anymore.)
• Erase all your bad memories (Do they replace them or just erase them? If just erase then that would mean I’d forget like 99% of my life.)
• Being small is a crime (Understandable. Midgets must be stopped!)
• Redundant problems will fly away together with extra weight! (What?)
• Add those inches to your sausage (Finally no more sausages that are too small for the bun.)
• Waste no further time on this (Done)
• You look really stupid (Well fuck you too.)
• Thorough, complete, utter penetration now possible (That sounds devastating! Sign me up!)

Run across web sites all the time that I think are pretty cool and always think to myself that I should create a post for some of them. Never get around to it however, but decided today that I’d finally start. So here we go!

Kongregate

This is a site I’ve been visiting for a while now that was brought online in early 2007 if I recall correctly. The short description is that it is a free Flash gaming site. Some of the reasons I recommend it and keep going back (unlike with other free gaming sites) are as follows:

• Unlike most free game sites, it helps support the developers through monthly/weekly contests for the highest rated new games and ad revenue sharing.
• The look and feel of the site is magnitudes better than any others I’ve seen. It’s even more user friendly than the big ones like Yahoo! Games and MSN Games in my opinion.
• It has achievements with collectible badges similar to what has been done on Xbox 360 and MSN Games. Not all games have them but the list is constantly expanding and many require actual skill compared to just sinking lots of time and repeated plays into a game.
• Each week there is a card challenge for a particular game (they usually start around 10PM CST on Thursdays). If you complete the challenge you get a collectible card that will eventually be used in an online collectible card game (think Magic: the Gathering). The CCG hasn’t launched yet but they do have details about the game along with a beta on the site. 
• You can earn “points” through multiple methods (rating games, earning achievements, referrals, etc). Currently the points just earn you a “level” across the site, but according to their FAQ it could potentially be used for things such as prizes.
• Each game has a chat room attached so you can talk to others that are playing games across the site. There are multiple chat rooms, you can see what game each person is currently playing and you can jump to their profiles, add them as friends or mute/unmute them easily.

Iconbuffet

Iconbuffet is hands down my favorite free icon site. All of the icon sets are created by a group of graphic designers that run the site so you don’t have to worry about quality or lack of formats in the downloads (which are common issues with many other free sites). You can use the icons for shortcuts and what not on your computer, but what I find them most valuable for is for graphics on buttons and what not within applications, web sites, etc that I’m working on.

The really unique aspect of the site is how much of a community feel there is to it. You have to register to use the site. Each time a new pack comes out (multiple packs per month) they will get seeded to some, but not all, users and it rotates with each pack. You then trade the packs back and forth between users using “stamps” to send packs and “tokens” to receive packs.

Different sets cost different numbers of tokens based on how popular or unique they are. The tokens you get are replenished each month so if you run out you aren’t done forever. The stamps are replenished by accepting deliveries from other people. This keeps those of us that have been out there for a long time and that have all the sets from just spamming every single person on the site with deliveries. Pretty good setup overall.

You have a profile with a message board on it that can be used for people asking you to send them sets. On top of that there is a very active forum area where people do everything from trading sets to giving advice on design projects or just chit-chatting. There are also little badges you can collect based on various criteria like sending out so many deliveries of a certain type or having so many packs from a particular style.

If you happen to join up and want some packs just let me know. My user name on the site is “Keeblerelf”.

Instructables

This is just an all around cool site that I stumbled across a few months back and can’t believe I had never heard of before. It is basically just a massive collection of instructions on how to do things submitted by users. Most of them that I’ve looked at include step by step photos (and video in many cases where it would help) along with very clear text instructions.

The articles range from “for Dummies” types of things like explaining a sport to more advanced DIY electronics projects and cover a huge variety of hobbies and interests. Some are silly, some are creative, some are super useful. Check it out and be surprised with what you find.

How Many 5 Year Olds Could You Take in a Fight?

This site is one that a co-worker found earlier today. It appears that the idea originated with a blog post a few years back (here) and then someone eventually turned it into an online quiz. You basically answer questions about your physical size, fighting experience, morality levels, etc and it tells you how many five year olds you could take on.

I highly recommend that you browse the forum post that inspired the site if you have time and want a good laugh. I just scanned it but I loved this comment:

I’m snapping necks. Let word get out to the other 5 yr olds. Also I seriously think snapping necks is less abuse to yourself then hitting the kids. Which will help you hurt more kids in the long run. Grab and twist man, grab and twist.

I like the way this guy thinks. Oh…and I can apparently take on 28 if you wondered.

The Blog Readability Test

This is a pretty interesting little site that works on pretty much any website that has text on it…not just blogs. It’s simple enough in that you just type in a URL and it tells you what education level is required to understand the site.

I’m not entirely sure how it determines this, but the speculation is that it is using a formula similar to what they use to determine the reading level of books for schools. Those usually go off things like the number of words per sentence, sentences per paragraph, average number of syllables per word, etc.

According to the site, DIL requires a junior high school reading ability to understand. Not real sure if that means I write in an easy to understand way or that I suck at writing. Oh well.

I’m tired so I won’t write much, but I figured I should put something out here so it didn’t just show that “Sorry, no posts matched your criteria. ” message anymore. Maybe I’ll write something more substantial tomorrow.